Before you judge someone, before you assume you know best, and before you offer “help”, ask yourself the following questions:
- Does this person need my approval in order to make their own decisions?
- Am I judging them because I see something in myself that I’m unhappy with?
- Do I secretly want them to feel like they’re failing because I need them to depend on me?
- What am I wanting to control in my life if I am committed to diminishing their (accomplishments, decisions, and right to know themselves)?
Friends, these are all really important questions.
You can judge someone by the state of their living environment, how long something has sat on their to-do list, their actions, and their thinking. You can judge all day and night if you wish.
But the bottom line is this: You’re YOU and they’re THEM. Therefore, unless the person is your spouse or your child, their choices are none of your business.
Read that again.
Don’t offer anything, any type of assistance, any advice, if you cannot let the person choose how to receive it. They are under no obligation to you when accepting your gifts. If you can’t offer assistance with no strings attached, then do not offer it at all. Because when you do, your motive is self-serving at the root. And that helps no one.
To reiterate, the only time it’s okay to give advice or assistance is when you can TRULY accept the fact that the person receiving it owes you NOTHING in return.
You might have some great ideas. Share them! It’s okay to care. But ideas should be shared in a serviceable way.
And if you can’t do that, if you truly cannot have a healthy relationship with this person unless they live their life in a way YOU feel is the RIGHT way, then offer nothing. Because otherwise, you’re giving them a disservice.
We are indeed a communal species. We are meant to live our lives together and be of service to one another. But service does not mean we have the right to chain others to ourselves.
Service is for others. 🙏🏼
Try taking your fear, assumptions of what you think is best, and your desire for personal gain out of the picture when you serve.
Love, live, and for the sake of the future, LET LIVE.
“You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink it.”
~Anonymous
Stay in your own lane. There’s plenty of work to be done there.
I believe in you.
💜 Carlie
