Do you ever feel like the target?
You know what’s going to go down before it even does.
You know they’re going to first find fault in the situation but that it’s eventually going to turn into finding fault in you.
You saw it all play out in your mind, but you thought well, maybe this time they’ll prove me wrong.
But of course they didn’t. They acted as expected.
Why does this still surprise us??
If we expect a behavior, why are we still so offended when we see it play out as expected?
I think it’s because we still can’t relate to treating others the way they treat us. To having such reactive, sincere responses that haven’t at first been filtered through the brain in such a way that perhaps they’d first think about what kind of message they’re trying to deliver BEFORE they speak.
Being one myself who doesn’t always have the greatest track record of thinking before I speak, I’m always surprised by how offended these same people dishing out passive-aggressive comments can get by the tiniest, unintended thing I might say, when they themselves can downright insult me to my core and then question my hurt response.
Why do they do it? That I don’t know. But it proves my theory that people are so much more self-focused and absorbed than they know.
Many times in my life, because I believe most people have good intentions, I’ll accept their “I didn’t mean it the way I said it” comment. Because that’s easy, and I hate conflict.
I honestly think most people aren’t thinking about anyone but themselves. Even if they’re touting themselves as someone who constantly worries about how they come off to others, it’s apparent now that this is because they’re really concerned about themselves.
My new goal is to hear the criticism, feel the feeling I get as a result of how terribly unfair it may be, and not say a word in my defense. In fact, not say a word at all.
From now on, I’m going to let the silence be my rebuttal.
And I invite you to do the same.
